‘tis the season

Would you believe that it was actually warmer in Anchorage, Alaska than here in Toronto last week?! Global warming, my ass! I’m not a scientist or anything but my guess is that there’s another ice age coming, my friends, if these early abnormally cold temperatures are any indication. (Not that any of us will still be here when the world finally freezes over. God knows, probably nothing but robots will be walking around by then and I’m sure the extreme cold won’t bother them a bit, though they might be prone to rusting. 🙂

So preparing for an ice age means you need to make sure you have a nice, warm hat to wear. Therefore, my trusty crochet hook has been at it again.

I wanted to try a really nice hat pattern I spotted at http://grandysdaughter.blogspot.ca/2007/04/spirit-scully.html called the Spirit Skully. You can visit grandysdaughter to find the very easy-to-follow pattern. For a standard hat_yellow & grey skull capladies fit, I used a 6.0 mm but you might want to use a larger hook if you’re making it for a guy. I thought a colour combination of grey and yellow would look nice so I chose worsted weight yarn in dark grey for the main colour and light grey and yellow for the highlight colours. It works up in an evening and is an easy project to follow. It also looks great on!

hat_vanilla brighamAfter I finished that, a hat pattern called the Brigham One Skein Hat designed by Lisa Gentry for caron.com caught my eye. If you want to try it, you can download the pattern here: https://yarnspirations.s3.amazonaws.com/naturallycaron-files/projects/brigham/brigham.pdf

It’s more decorative than it is warm, with a delicate lacy pattern. I used a vanilla worsted weight yarn but I think it would be even prettier in a lighter acrylic. Again, it looks great on!

And finally, ‘tis the season for Christmas shopping, right? With that excruciating chore in mind, here’s a poem prompted by my Bah Humbug view of what I like to refer to as The Retail Olympics:

‘TIS THE SEASON

Round and round the parking lot,
Will I ever find a space?
The gun’s been fired and I’m off
To win the Christmas shopping race.

Electronic doors that fail to work,
I stumble headfirst into glass,
A mob of elbows jab my ribs,
As folks behind me barrel past.

I clutch my fabric shopping bag,
Protective armor at my chest,
I check my list, crushed in my fist,
I’m ready to begin my quest.

Buzzing ‘round like compost flies,
A mass of human bumper cars,
I’m banged and bumped and jostled
Till my eyes are seeing twinkle stars.

Warriors in every aisle,
Eyes flat and dull with zombie glaze,
Were I buck naked on a pogo stick,
They’d charge right past, unfazed.

I search in vain for the latest craze,
A new toy doll that burps and farts,
I spot the last one on the shelf,
And race toward it with my cart.

But another mom, more agile than I,
Shrieks, “It’s mine!” and leaps ahead,
Yanks the doll clean from my grasp,
Flees the aisle with nimble tread.

I wad my list into a ball,
And fling it down the Barbie aisle.
Blessed gift cards, here I come,
Mission over! Now, I smile.

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1 Comment

  1. November 27, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    Gives me the itchies to start knitting hats 🙂

    Love the poem. Been there, done that. Ahhhh – the blessings of on-line shopping.

    Like


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