High drama alert: Fight on the beach!

During a stroll along the beach while vacationing in Naples, Florida, I stumbled upon a melodramatic scene of what appeared to be intense marital strife.

A group of terns were gathered quietly on the sand while one tern proceeded to “rant” at another poor tern for a good fifteen minutes straight. Whenever the recipient attempted to turn away, the noisy one would follow and get right up in its face. The other terns just sort of sidled away and kept their distance. It was hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that several other beachgoers ambled over to watch.

It was a no-brainer that the one ranting just had to be the wife and the one being ranted at was the husband, who had obviously done something heinous enough to warrant the degree of beak-lashing that ensued.

So here’s how it all went down:

10.terns_angry wife in middle



That’s tern-wife in the middle of the group, screaming at the back of tern-husband’s head.


11.tern wife



Tern-wife: “You old crow! How DARE you look at HER that way in front of all of our tern-friends?”


12.wife gives hubby crap




Tern-wife: “I demand an apology right now, you old buzzard!”


13.wife waits for apology



A heavy silence looms between the crashing of 
the waves as she waits for a response. No response is forthcoming.

14.no apology forthcoming



Tern-wife: “You yellow-bellied sapsucker! Did you not hear what I just chirped? YOU OWE ME AN APOLOGY!”

15.hubby looks for escape




Dead silence. Tern-husband looks around for an escape route.

16.there is no escape




There is no escape! Tern-husband
 prays for the tide to roll in and wash his tern-wife out to sea.

17.wife pissed off


Tern-wife: “Have you no thoughts whatsoever in that birdbrain of yours? You look me in the eye when I’m talking to you…you SCUMSUCKING SEAGULL!”

18.hubby has audacity to leave




Hubby takes a deep breath and makes a run for it.


19.hubby gets an earful



Tern-wife: “WTF! You CHICKENSHIT! You DARE to tern away from meIsn’t it just like you to run from our problems!” (Notice the tern-friend nearby covering his ears with his wings.)


20.ripping hubby a new one



Tern-wife: “You get your tailfeathers back here and face the birdsong!”


21.wife is on a roll




Tern-wife: “I am at the end of my pier with you. You are nothing but a lame duck!”

22.hubby turns away again



Tern-husband peers out to sea longingly. He wonders if he has the strength left to hold his body underwater long enough to get the job done.

23.uh oh






Tern-wife: “I have a mind to rope you to a conch shell and toss you out to sea!”


24.someones still in the birdhouse








Tern-wife: “No response to that either, huh? Ok. I’ve had enough! I’m done! We’re over!”

25.wife waits for apology




Tern-wife: “You’ll be hearing from my tern-lawyer by sundown.”


It was at this point that I “reterned” to my lounge chair with the full realization that all men have an innate aptitude for tuning out their women, no matter what species they belong to.

Going to the beach can be such an educational experience.




  1. Nora said,

    March 5, 2015 at 9:54 pm



  2. Sheila Davidson said,

    March 4, 2015 at 10:34 pm

    Donna, you “terned” the pictures into a humorous dialogue.
    Nice Job.


  3. March 4, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Absolutely brilliant and hilarious! Such an imagination, love, love, loved it! Xx


  4. March 4, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    Oh my! You seemed to have nailed it! That’s hilarious! P.S. You know when you are fully relaxed when you even notice stuff like this happening around you. And then to be able to watch the whole story play out like that. Nice!


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